Writer's difficulties

I am now past 55,000 words in the story "A Far Sun". I'm not entirely sure what I should call the work, since it's more than just an outline or a synopsis. Perhaps it's more appropriate as a first draft for a novel, since the length I'm envisioning seems to put it at about novel length. I do still plan to publish it as an online graphic novel. A web comic. But I'm being encouraged to make it into a more conventional work.

I am up to the part in the story where Adam and Jane (and some others) leave the sun-skin village (oh right! I haven't even mentioned the sun-skins, have I?) on a journey to find the old library. There they hope to discover what the disease is, so they might have a chance to develop a cure. Vain hope, maybe, but perhaps not so vain. (Sun-skins? Disease? Village?)

The difficulties I'm having are the result of having to write a particularly difficult passage in the story. First a newborn baby dies from the disease (a major element of conflict in the story, since Adam almost dies from it). Then there are complications from another birth, where another mother-to-be dies from placenta previa, but Jane is there to perform an emergency C-section and save the baby. She has difficulties believing she didn't actually murder the poor woman.

In order to write passages involving strong emotions of my characters, I have to be willing to "get down to their level" and actually feel some of the same emotions. I'm not an actor, but I'm pretty sure this is what many of the best actors do. It lends an air of credibility to the work, because the emotions are genuine. This process greatly sensitizes me to my feelings--sort of puts my heart on my sleeve. As a consequence, I notice everything and everyone around me much more acutely.

I have also observed that once I have good, strong characters, writing about them almost becomes a matter of simply recording their reactions to the situations they find themselves in. It's strange, but that's how it feels to me. Dialog and action seem to write themselves, so the task becomes simply editing the writing so it flows and that I don't leave out anything important. Also that I don't include anything unneeded.

So now I'm suffering a post-emotional letdown. It's like being depressed, or maybe simply being drained. Yes, it takes the air out of things, so to speak. Maybe if I had a strong idea for the next scene I could write my way out of, but so far nothing has jumped out at me. Sure, I know where the story is going and what's going to happen, I just haven't planned the next few events.

Actually that's not true. I have everything planned. There are some bad guys who will be making their appearance in the story, and they will provide a different sort of conflict for my heroes to take on. This may be about the midpoint, or perhaps just past it. The spring celebration event just concluded actually feels like a beginning, of sorts. Of course it was immediately followed by two deaths, so the story is not really trending upward. Yeah, the spring thing signaled a couple of important changes. Both Adam and Jane found and/or cemented relationships with their "significant others", and then they decided they needed to make a journey away from the village to get more answers. This would be the second time they have come to realize that you can't go forward if you stay in one place.

Well, let's see if I can get back to work ...

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 10

This is the last post, here. It brings us to the end of Act I, and on advice from my chief editorial collaborator (my wife), I will not be continuing to blog this story. But fingers have not been idle, and I am past 45,000 words (149 pages) so the story is anything but dead. The end of this post was on page 39, just to put it into perspective.

Click for part 9

Sometime later we come upon Adam and Jane picking their way through the rubble-strewn interior of what is most obviously the university library. Arrayed around them in semi-ordered rows are stacks, most only halfway filled with moldy, musty books. The roof of the library, about three stories overhead, is mostly intact, but in places there are holes letting in shafts of midday light. The holes have also let in the weather, which has deposited ubiquitous piles of damp, rotting leafy matter in every corner and on top nearly every study carrel and library desk.

Jane comments, "Ugh. It smells like mildew in here."

"It's all these rotting books." He sweeps his hand up, showing her the holes in the roof. "These holes let in the wind and the rain. Enough moisture and you get a gooey, moldy mess." He sniffs, but doesn't like what he smells, either. "I had hoped for better than this."

Click for moreJane asks, "What are we looking for, anyway?" She has walked some meters away to investigate what looks like a thoroughly rusted and demolished computer terminal. "Computer terminal, here." She walks around it. "Used to be, anyway."

"Yeah," he says. "Not very promising, to say the least."

Jane walks on, veering to go around a couple of three meter high book stacks. Adam, meanwhile, is trying to get a look at the contents of the head librarian's desk drawer. It's locked, maybe, but he pulls the drawer front off with a moldy 'snap'. The drawer is empty.

"Uh, Adam," says Jane from just out of sight, "I think you better see this."

As Adam approaches, Jane is standing at the edge of what would best be described as the remains of a campsite. There are old chairs arranged in a rough circle, and books have been piled between the chairs to make apparent seats. In the center of the circle is a large, ash-filled and scorched area. The ashes are most apparent in the center of the circle. Remnants of the things burned suggest it was mostly books they burned. And by 'they' we mean the former owners of the two rotted skeletons we find lying next to each other in front of Adam and Jane.

Jane is first to speak. "These are human skeletons."

Adam gingerly walks around the long-dead pair to view them from the opposite side. "Yeah. See their clothing?" He walks back around to where Jane is crouching, inspecting the remains. "They both had red hair, too."

Jane carefully inspects the closest skeleton. She picks at an ulna bone, then what must be a femur, under it. "This one was female." Since Jane is a trained biologist, this is her area of expertise. Certainly she knows more about anatomy than Adam, the physicist.

He doesn't even ask how she knows. She knows. But he does ask, "Can you tell how long they've been dead?"

"By the look of the clothing--see, it's almost gone--and the state of decomposition--nearly total--I'd say a really long time."

"Would you say it's been three hundred years?"

"Hard to say, but yeah, could be."

Adam steps around the bodies to the fire pit. "What would you say about this?" he says, pointing to the blackened, ash-filled "pit" in the center of the encampment.

"I dunno," she stands. "It doesn't look like it's been sitting there abandoned for three hundred years, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." He points. "See these ashes? If this fire pit was old, these ashes would be all mashed down and compressed. Like these others, here." He points to ashes around the edges. "The rain would have soaked them and all but obliterated things."

"So, you think this place has been visited, recently."

"I do."

Jane walks around the circle in the opposite direction Adam has gone. "Ah, here we are."

"What?"

"Bones. Animal bones."

"So?"

She sounds rather triumphant. "I was looking for evidence this place has been used by humans."

"And?"

"These bones are recent." Jane stoops to point out the small pile of tiny bones. "This was no animal that picked over these remains. These bones are recent, and I would say these animals were cooked, too." She turns over a small skeleton. "They were. See? These leg bones are blackened on the ends. No question about it."

Adam supplies the obvious answer to her unstated question. "There are humans here."

Jane stands, and the air seems charged with discovery. "Seems that way. Is this the answer you were looking for?"

"Not quite," he says, turning away from the campfire, "But it does tell me we're not alone." He glances at Jane, then flips his head in a 'follow me' gesture. "C'mon girl. Let's go find these people."

Jane's face: hopeful and determined, provides all the answer he needs.

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 9

Click for part 8

Adam and Jane walk around to the front of the clock tower building, and we see them standing facing the tall, brick face. Adam's face turns upward to assess the conditions that lie ahead. In front of them are the broken remains of the twin wooden doors, halfway off their hinges.

"Shall we go, then?" Jane asks.

Still bemused by the stark differences he remembers as though it was just yesterday, Adam starts forward after Jane. "Sure, why not."

They pick their way through the broken doors. The interior of the lobby is very dim, but since most of the windows are broken out, they can see well enough. The lobby itself is about 10 meters wide, and a good two stories tall. In front of them, at the back of the lobby, are the twin curving stairways that lead to a mezzanine on the second level. A rotted, broken information desk occupies the space in the center of the lobby. Piles of rotting leaves have blown against the desk and decorate the corners of the room.

Click for moreAdam walks to the foot of one stairway. It appears to be made of wood, and it also appears as rotten and crumbling as the desk behind him.

"I don't know if this stair will hold us," he says, turning around to see if Jane has followed.

She comes alongside. "I think you're right." She looks around. "Wait. There's a set of metal stairs back here, I believe."

"Oh, right," says Adam, and he walks off right behind Jane to where they both know there's a better set of stairs.

Sure enough, they go through a rusty metal door--it creaks as it's opened--and stand in the dim light of another industrial steel stairwell. The stairs are dirty, littered with twigs and leaves, but when Adam takes a tentative step up, nothing surprising happens. He picks his way up to the first landing.

"Seems OK to me," he says. "Come on."

In a few minutes they have ascended all the way to the fourth floor, the top floor of the main part of the building. The stairs end here, and they are forced to leave the stairwell and go in search of another set of stairs up to the clock tower.

The bulk of the building seems intact. The fourth floor is dark and dingy, but the weather hasn't seemed to have penetrated this part, so when Adam and Jane walk toward the front of the building, they have grown in confidence that things will be safe. Adam has his flashlight turned on as they both start searching beyond the various doors that line both sides of this central corridor. At the far end of the corridor, some 15 meters away, is a lone metal door, with a square of light coming from its single small window. Still, both Adam and Jane search every door and doorway as they make their way toward the door.

At the door, finally, Adam pulls on it. It won't open. It's locked. Not only that, since the door is steel, it looks as though no one will be opening this door anytime soon.

"Door's locked," Adam informs Jane, who is standing and watching him tug on the door.

"I see that," she says. She then notices Adam's rifle, slung next to his pack. "Can't you shoot the lock off?"

"Shoot it off?"

"Sure. Just like in the movies."

"Uh," he says, "I could try. But I really doubt it's quite as easy as they make it look."

"Well, if you don't wanna do it, then I guess that's it."

Adam doesn't like what she is insinuating. Irritated, he explains, "It has nothing to do with whether I want to do it, or not. This is a high powered rifle. Discharging it in this confined space is dangerous. Especially if I'm shooting at a goddamn steel door."

Jane simply says, "Oh."

He looks around. "OK. You go take cover in one of those recessed doorways back there." She moves to comply. "I'm going to hide in this one, and I will try to shoot out the lock." He turns and holds out the light. "Here, you take the flashlight and aim it on the door so I can see to shoot."

Jane does as he asks.

There is a tense few moments while Adam loads the rifle, positions himself, and raises the rifle to take aim. Jane is shaking, and the light on the door jiggles. "Hold the light still," Adam says, and Jane takes the light in both hands to steady it.

But then she asks, breaking Adam's concentration, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Helluva time to be asking that, Jane."

"Well?" She sounds worried.

Adam sighs. "Just so you know, I was in ROTC as an undergraduate. We learned how to carry guns, and we also learned how to shoot them, too. I wouldn't worry, too much."

"OK," she says. "Be careful, OK?"

He smiles. "I will." Then the quiet of the corridor is shattered by the incredibly loud report from the rifle. Adam hasn't missed, though, and the door, shot straight through the lock, bangs open. He stands, then, and puts his fingertip in his ear. "Wow. That sucker was loud." Jane timidly edges toward him, flashlight in Adam's face blinding him. "Don't shine that in my face," he orders.

"Sorry." She flips the light to the now open door. There is a stairwell beyond the door, and it obviously goes upward. "You OK?"

"Of course I'm OK," he grins. "Did you see that shot? Clean through, right in the center of the lock."

Jane is smirking, but since her back is to Adam as she enters the stairwell, he cannot see it. She turns back, carefully hiding her expression, but pleased nonetheless. "That was very manly. Now come on."

"Manly, indeed," he replies. He doesn't see her proud smile.

**

Once at the top of the clock tower, we see that the roof is almost gone, as it had looked from ground level. The clock itself, having four faces, one in each of the tower walls, has broken and two of the faces have fallen. One clock face balances in the corner of the tower, the other face, once Adam walks over to look down, is lying in the bushes and trees at the base of the building. On two sides of the tower, then, there is very good visibility out onto the landscape.

They see the skyline of the city in the hazy distance. The buildings there, all much taller than the one where they are, all look decrepit and deserted. They can see the glint of the sun off windows, but almost as noticeable are all the missing windows. Off the other side they see nothing but the tops of the trees. Nothing but trees for as far as they can see. It is not very encouraging.

"There's nothing here," Adam says, finally breaking the silence.

"The city looks completely deserted," agrees Jane. She walks over to where Adam is standing.

"What do you think happened here?" He asks, holding his hand up to shade his eyes from the bright sun.

"Damn, Adam," she says, her head shaking in utter disbelief, "I have no idea."

"Then," Adam says, "We really must be three hundred years in the future. There must have been a war and everyone was killed, all the cities destroyed, and we have awakened from ..." he has to stop and swallow, his throat now dry, "... something, to find all this."

"I can't believe it."

He turns to her. "Damn it Jane, you're a scientist. We are taught to analyze the facts and form hypotheses based on the facts. What would you say has happened that doesn't put us somewhere in the future?"

She does not have an answer, only stands and looks at him, eyes large. Her expression says she fully believes Adam's explanation, and having had that terrible realization finally sink in has reduced her to speechlessness. A very unique state.

Adam sees that she sees, finally. "I'm sorry." He swallows. "It really is just us, then."

"This is horrible," she finally croaks.

"No shit."

"I keep thinking we're going to just suddenly run into someone, and that there'll just be some really good, logical explanation for all this." She sniffs, now holding back tears, "But there isn't anyone here, is there?"

"I don't think so." He looks out toward the city skyline. "At least, not right here."

She coughs, clears her throat, also bone dry. "So, what do you think we should do?"

He turns back to face her. "We won't learn anything new if we stay here." He pauses, apparently waiting for a response from Jane. She is silent, so he continues, "I say we should head out. Away from here. Try to find someone. Try to find out what's happened."

Jane considers his idea. "What about food and shelter?"

"All we got is about a dozen cans of ancient meat and vegetables. We won't last long on that nasty stuff, so just hiding away down in the facility won't cut it. We have plenty of guns, ammo, clothing, and camping supplies." He nods, as if confirming his plan, "I say we gear up with all our food and stuff, and head out."

"Away from here? Where would we go?"

"Toward the city, maybe. I don't know. Where are we most likely to find people? If there are any."

"The city, I guess."

"You don't sound too sure."

"Cripes, Adam," Jane says, sounding very weak and very female, "This is hard to assimilate. I think I really need some time to adjust to the situation."

"OK," he says, "We're in no hurry, I guess. Come on, let's go back down. There's one place I want to investigate before we go too much further."

"Where's that?"

"I want to see the library."

Continued in part 10

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 8

Very soon now we will be leaving for a week's vacation, and I will be "off line" until we get back in town on January 19th. So, I will post a few more entries now, so I won't feel so guilty (not that anyone is reading these, yet) about leaving things unattended for a week. Expect another post or two tomorrow.

As far as the writing is going, I am about ten pages into Act II, and have reached the first major ordeal. Actually it's not that major, but it's not over yet, either.

Click for part 7

We catch up to Adam and Jane a short while later. They have had to walk down almost to the elevator car to find a platform that goes all the way around the interior of the circular "hole". As Jane speculated, there are two more stairwells, and lacking a better plan, they choose the nearest one and begin to climb, again. But it doesn't take long until they realize that this stairwell will probably lead to a way out. There's a slight wind blowing past them, and as they climb it begins to get lighter. And their moods begin to improve correspondingly.

Jane, who has been thinking about things, speaks up for the first time in several minutes. "Hey, thanks for back there."

"Thanks for what?"

"For reassuring me like you did. I was starting to get all weak and 'girly' on you, and you helped pull me back."

He smiles. "No problem." They continue to walk upward, step after step. "I guess if I have to be stranded in a world with just one other person, you're not too bad to be with." We notice that the steps are starting to become littered with vegetable matter--leaves, twigs, and the occasional dry branch.

Jane laughs with irony, "Gee, thanks. You're not too bad, either."

"Don't worry, Jane. We're going to find other people, you know."

"Why wouldn't we? I mean, surely the world hasn't been destroyed, or anything." Her boots crunch loudly in the leafy matter, which is growing thicker.

"Right." He takes a small device out of his chest pocket, consults it in the dim light. "Well, there's no radiation, anyway."

"You were checking?"

Click for more"Damn right, I was. I didn't want us to prematurely end such a great relationship together, by dying. You know?"

But Jane is only looking over to Adam, her face showing an expression between curious humor and mild distrust. "Men are so interesting, sometimes."

"Why is that?"

"Brian's gone not more than a few hours, and already you're thinking you got me all to yourself."

But she'd gotten it all wrong. "That's not what I meant."

"No?"

"I was making a joke, that's all. We don't even know what's going on, yet. I think it's a bit early to be making any assumptions about ... things."

Jane nods, "I agree."

But they don't get to continue their conversation, because it's just about that moment that they come to the top of the stairs. The concrete room protecting the stairwell, if ever there was such a room, is nothing more than piles of rubble in a rough square, ten meters by ten meters. The stairwell is completely open to the sky, but trees, tall trees, surround it on all sides. Adam and Jane seem to be standing in a depression, with low hills all around. But the sky is blue with puffy clouds, the trees are leafy and green, and in the branches our heroes can hear the happy, carefree twitter of birds.

Adam checks the radiation detector again. All clean.

They climb over the remains of the concrete wall and Adam helps Jane scale the nearest hill. From that vantage they can see fairly well all around them.

But Jane only gasps, "Oh my God."

**

Where once was a university, with carefully mown quad and buildings ordered all around, now stands a small forest. What they can see of the buildings are only burned-out husks, blackened, rusted, and crumbling brick and stone. But it is the university, because we can see the clock tower (an image from the opening scene [ed: left out accidentally]). The broken remains of the physics building is behind them.

Adam only looks, turning to take in everything. Jane scrambles down the low hill and comes to stand on what once was a concrete sidewalk. It's all broken into pieces, the ground under it is uneven and trees have encroached in places. She walks left, toward the clock tower whose spire still towers over the area.

"Can we get up there?" she calls up to Adam. She is pointing up to the tower.

Adam turns to look where she is pointing. "I don't know," he yells, but she can't quite hear him.

"Come on," she yells back anyway, and beckons him to follow.

"Oh, all right," he mutters, and carefully picks his way down to the crumbled sidewalk. He trudges toward her.

"I want to see if we can get up in the clock tower," Jane announces as Adam approaches.

"What for?"

"To see." Jane turns to walk away. "We need a better vantage point."

Adam has little choice but to follow her. "I dunno if we can get up there, or not." He warily looks toward the hulking, broken structure. The pointed roof of the clock tower, once a very recognizable landmark of the area, is mostly gone. On the side Adam can see, the clock face itself is missing.

But Jane is undeterred by Adam's pessimism. "We can at least try, can't we?"

Continued in part 9

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 7

Click for part 6

Soon Jane reaches the platform, and follows Adam's light down a tunnel and into the dark of a stairway landing. Yes, there is a stairwell here, and when she comes alongside Adam, who is pointing the flashlight up the stairwell, she sees the stairs do go up a rather long way.

"How far did you say we were below the surface?" she asks, looking up along the seemingly endless ranks of stairs.

"Not that far," Adam says, also looking up. "Ten stories, or so."

"Why can't I see the top?"

He smirks, "It's dark."

Click for more"No, dummy. It looks farther."

"I dunno. Let's climb up there and see." He already has his pack on his back, and the rifle is still slung securely (he checks both). "Don't you have a flashlight?" he asks, noting that Jane carries nothing but herself.

"You got an extra in your pack, maybe?"

"So I do." He turns his back to her. "Get it out."

So, in a few moments they start up the stairs. Their flashlight beams crisscross in the dark, throwing flickering shadows off the stair railings and against the walls. They don't talk, much, but after about ten landings they stop to rest.

"I think we're about halfway to the top," Adam says, looking both upward and downward. The downward stairwell is impossibly deep. A fall from here wouldn't hit bottom for a long, long time.

"Shall we continue, then?" Jane asks.

"You put on this pack, and see how well you do."

"All right, then. I can wait." She stops as she was about to begin yet another climb up yet another flight of stairs.

"That's OK," he grunts, "let's go."

**

Eventually they come to the top of the stairs, ending in a ten by ten meter square concrete room with a six meter high ceiling. It's very dark in the room, but it's fairly apparent there has been some damage to the ceiling and to the solid concrete walls. Neither one is sure where the door should be, so they begin to walk the room's perimeter looking for signs of a doorway. It doesn't take long to see where the door was. Parts of the ceiling have fallen in and all but completely block the room's one exit.

Adam, reaching a dire conclusion, announces, "I think we're screwed."

Jane looks around, flashing her light into the corners, up and down the walls. "Are you sure? There has to be another way out."

"I don't know." Adam looks around. "Where would it be?"

"This can't be the only stairwell, can it?"

Adam stops. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, why would you build such a large, important facility, and only provide one way out?"

"OK," Adam seems to agree. "If there's another way out of here, then where is it?"

Jane sits on the pile of concrete rubble and leans back, stretching her tired, rubbery legs. "I remember my father saying they had a dug pretty large hole down to the facility so they could get the reactor and all the other really large, heavy equipment down. That was ten years ago before they built the physics building, of course, but if his description was correct, we might be standing at the edge of a 50 meter diameter hole in the ground."

"And?"

"And, I'd think there'd be at least two or three stairwells. Put the elevator shaft down the middle and build a building overtop the whole thing. It'd make the perfect disguise."

"I get it," Adam nods in the darkness, "the chance that the other stairwells are blocked is pretty small."

Jane smiles, "I wouldn't say small, exactly, but maybe there's another way out, somewhere around here." She claps her hand on her knees, stands up. "Wanna give it a try?"

Adam looks around in the darkness. "Sure." Then he thinks, "Doesn't this blocked doorway bother you, at all?"

"How do you mean?"

"The implications of this much destruction? That it might explain why we've been all alone down in the facility?"

In the darkness, with her flashlight beam aimed at his chest, she asks, "How do you feel about apparently finding yourself three hundred years in the future?"

But Adam has an answer, "Under the circumstances, not so good."

"Why 'not so good'? You don't like being stuck here, with me?"

Adam doesn't know why Jane would ask such a thing. They have always been friends. Good friends. "No, Janie, you're fine. It's all those other people that we're not running into that have me worried."

"Do you really think we're alone, here?"

But instead of answering, he asks: "Didn't you once tell me that your first name was really Eva? Eva Jane Marsden?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well Eva, my name is Adam, and this is our Eden."

Continued in part 8

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 6

This upcoming segment where Adam and Jane are working to get out of the facility should probably be more uncertain and dangerous. Of course, if this were a movie (and it would also be true of the illustrated version) we could heighten the suspense and show more fear. This is really a major threshold crossing event. In story terms, the heroes are crossing from the "ordinary world" (their old familiar one) into the "special world"--the world of story. Soon they will realize what they must do, and choose to make the hero's journey.

I probably shouldn't be breaking down my story this way, since it does tend to take some of the anticipation out of it, but I did want you to know that I'm thinking of these things.

Click for part 5

We watch as the elevator crawls slowly upward, but then after a few moments it resumes its regular speed.

"What was that slowdown back there?" asks Jane.

"Dunno," replies Adam, "maybe it hit a spot in the shaft that's been knocked slightly out of alignment."

"Out of alignment?"

Adam sounds irritated: "I said I don't know. Could be anything." Adam presses a few keys on the control pad. "We'll have to get back down below to the computer to find out, I think."

"That's OK, guy," Jane says, sounding as though she's trying to pacify him.

Adam calms his voice, slightly. "Sorry. We should be nearing the top pretty soon." But just then the buzzer sounds again, and the elevator immediately slows and comes to a complete stop. Jane says nothing, just looks to Adam. Adam checks the elevator's controls. "Hmm. We're about a hundred-fifty meters below the surface."

"We stopped," says Jane.

"We stopped--yes. Something is blocking the shaft, or maybe a track is broken."

"We can get out, can't we?" There is a hint of panic in her voice.

"Let's hope so," says Adam, but when Jane turns large, owl's eyes on him, he smiles. "Don't worry. Every dozen or so meters is a landing, with ladders between. Every five landings is a door that leads to the main stairway. It may be a pain to climb out, but I don't think we're in any danger."

Jane seems to accept his explanation. "So, Dr. Lesky," (Lesky is Adam's last name) "how do we open the elevator door?"

"We don't. We open that hatch," he points to a trapdoor in the ceiling of the car, "and climb out on top."

Jane looks carefully at the trap door, some two meters over her head and about a meter square. "Ugh. How do we reach it?"

Click for moreAdam looks around the car, but no magic ladder has appeared to help them. "I'll boost you up, since you weigh less than I do. You open the door, I'll help you climb through, and then you help me up with the rope."

She nods, agreeing it's the same solution she would have proposed, and then positions herself under the trapdoor. She picks her foot up, expecting Adam to take hold.

He does, and braces himself against her weight. "Hang on. Hold onto me, and be careful. I don't want to lose my balance."

"No problem," she says, and once Adam has his fingers laced under her boot, she bounces a little hop and stands straight up, balanced on his interlocked hands. She can barely reach the trapdoor, but it's enough for her to open it.

It bangs open above them.

The air streaming through the open door is cool, but it gives no hint that there might be anything wrong. There should have been lights along the sides of the shaft--they were seeing these lights go by as they ascended, but above the elevator car is only darkness. It's impossible to see why the car might have stopped, except that without guide lights, it is essentially blind. It doesn't go if it can't see.

"Ready?" Adam asks, staggering a little below Jane's boot soles.

"Give me another boost up and I might be able to grab the sides of the trapdoor."

"Right. Let me know when you're ready."

Jane says, "OK," and Adam gives her a lift upward. It's enough for her to get a good hold on the open trapdoor frame, and then with his continued help she pulls herself up through the opening.

Adam calls after her when her feet disappear through the opening, "What do you see?"

She comes to stand over the opening, looking down. "It's pretty dark up here, guy. I can see lights below us, though."

"Do you see a platform?" he calls up.

She disappears for a few moments. Reappears. "No, but I do see a metal ladder. It's along the side of the shaft."

"I think there's another one that runs up the back."

"Do we need that one?" she asks, then disappears again.

"How should I know? That's the only one I know about. I don't know where that other ladder goes."

Jane reappears, again. "Where else could it go? It goes up and down."

He has no comment to her smart-ass remark. "OK. Now, lower a rope for me."

"That would be a good idea, except I don't have a rope."

"Geez," says Adam, "hang on." He retrieves a coil of rope from his pack, and with a fling, tosses it through the trapdoor. Jane has to move back to avoid getting hit, but she catches it.

In moments the rope is lowered through the open doorway.

"Did you tie off the other end?" he asks.

"I'm not stupid, you know," she says. "I already did that."

"OK." He ties the pack to the end of the rope. "Pull the pack up." This Jane does without comment. Once untied, she lowers the rope, again. The rifle follows after Adam has made sure it is unloaded, and then the rope lowers a third time. "All right," he says, "let's see if I can climb the rope." But, he can't. He's a physicist and a book researcher, and he isn't quite strong enough to hoist himself up to the open trapdoor. He struggles for some moments, but it's clear he can't get out.

"Hang on," says Jane, though, who has had an idea.

"What?"

"Let go of the rope a minute," she barks, and when he does, she pulls it up.

Adam is curious, "What are you doing?" But after about thirty seconds the rope reappears. Or rather, a loop reappears and comes down to about Adam's chest.

"Put your foot in the loop, and pull yourself up. You should be able to reach the top from there."

"Hah." But Adam does as she has instructed. "So I am." Moments later they are both standing in the dark on top the elevator car.

We follow them as Adam surveys the situation. He takes out a flashlight and shines it around the elevator shaft. Above them about fifty meters the shaft seems to be partially blocked. The ladder Jane found appears to go up about four or five meters to a platform, so after untying and stowing the rope, putting on the pack, and slinging the rifle on his back, Adam proceeds to climb up the ladder to the platform above. Jane waits below, cautiously. He tries not to think how far he would fall if he accidentally let go of the ladder.

We watch as light flicks off the shaft walls while Adam looks around the platform above.

Jane is impatient, though. "Well?" she calls from the roof of the elevator car.

Adam appears at the edge of the platform (there are no railings of any kind) and shines the light down on Jane. "Come on up," he says, "but be very careful on the ladder."

"What's up there?" she asks, but has started for the ladder anyway.

"Stairs," she hears, but indistinctly because Adam has turned away. "Lots and lots of stairs."

Continued in part 7

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 5

It's Sunday, so we have two installments! Yay! This entry puts us just past halfway into Act 1. Yes, there is more to come. Much more, so stay tuned.

Click here for part 4

Later Adam and Jane meet again in the computer room. Adam has been researching things, mainly in the computer, but has also done some looking around and has inventoried what he has found.

"Have you found any food?" he asks as she comes to sit in her chair behind him. He is busy typing commands into the computer, but is not happy with the responses he's getting.

"If you call three hundred plus year-old cans of old military meats and vegetables food, then yes."

"That's all you found?"

"Not quite, but the stuff in the refrigerator and freezer all thawed and dried up long ago. Years ago, by the look. Can't really be called food, anymore."

"How much canned food is there?"

She shrugs, "If we stick to a really strict diet," she pauses, mentally calculating, "there's maybe two weeks, three weeks of food."

"And that's it?"

In answer all she says is, "Sorry."

"Not your fault."

Jane turns away from Adam. "That's not what I meant."

"I know," he says, and puts his hand on her shoulder, briefly.

She notices, and seems to appreciate it. "Did you find anything?" she asks.

"Yes." He smiles, ironically. "I found a store room chock full of military gear. You know, camouflage uniforms, coats, jackets, backpacks, tents, rope. That kind of stuff. Guns, too."

She furrows her brow, "What's that stuff doing here?"

"I dunno. Maybe they were expecting a war, or something."

"Huh." She looks around at the stillness. "Got one, if you ask me."

"Could be, but we don't know that, yet."

"Well, what say we go find out?"

"Fine," Adam replies, "but let's eat, first."

Click for more**

Later, we find Adam and Jane standing in front of the main elevator to the surface. The elevator is very large, about 5 meters by 5 meters square, and its wide doors are standing open. Both have changed from their shirt and tie (or shirt and skirt) and lab coats, into camouflage military uniforms complete with shiny, heavy military boots, web military belts, and in Adam's case, he has a backpack containing a tent, sleeping bag, and two canteens filled with water. Adam has also selected a rifle, an antiquated military carbine that looked serviceable.

Jane has not put on a backpack, and is instead commenting on Adam's choice of gear. "I can't see how we're going to need a tent and all that other stuff. You should take just the bare minimum. We don't know what we'll run into."

Adam disagrees, "That's right, we don't know. I think I'd rather be prepared, than not."

"So do I. But how are you going to carry all that stuff if we have to climb stairs to the surface?"

He grins, but not with any humor. "With difficulty, I think."

She looks toward the elevator door opening, then upwards toward the surface, 1500 meters overhead. "Have you checked the elevator to see if it's even working?"

"Of course," he grabs the backpack and rifle and starts toward the elevator. "The computer says it's functional almost all the way to the top." (The elevator was designed not to use a cable, but rather it "crawls" along a pair of rails with its own motors.) "As long as the tracks aren't broken," he says, referring to the elevator's mechanism, "we should be fine."

"But we don't know if the shaft is open to the surface."

"No, we don't."

"So we could get stuck, somewhere."

But Adam is getting a little irritated with Jane's attitude. "We could. But would you rather just sit down here and rot and not even try to get out?"

"Of course not." She begins to follow into the elevator. "I'm just being cautious, that's all."

"Well, so am I. I've programmed the elevator to proceed slowly. It's already programmed to notice small variations in the distances between and direction of the two tracks. If it thinks things are getting 'rough' it will stop, so nothing bad should happen."

"I didn't know that," she admits, impressed. "So you think we'll be able to get out and take the stairs if the elevator shaft is damaged."

They are both in the elevator, now. Adam is finishing pressing buttons to activate the car to ascend. "I think so, yes."

But something in his tone of voice alerts Jane. "But you're not sure?"

"Look," he says, "we woke up down here in the dark with no one around. There's dust on everything that tells me no one's been here in forever, and the computer is saying that it's been essentially sitting here for three hundred seventeen years just waiting for us to wake up." He snorts, "I'm not sure of anything."

"Point taken," Jane agrees.

Adam turns, finger poised on a button, "So, are you ready, or what?"

"Hit it."

**

A few moments later, after the elevator door has closed and the car has started upward, Jane asks, "Don't you wonder how the computer is still running, even with the power failure, and everything?"

"No."

"No?"

Adam explains, "The power was never really 'off'. This facility has its own nuclear reactor that supplies electricity, heat, cooling, light, etc. The reactor powers the computer."

"But the lights were off in the chamber. The equipment was dead. The door wouldn't even open."

"Yeah, I don't know what caused all that."

"You don't know?" Jane seems incredulous.

"Yes, Jane," Adam says, condescendingly, "I don't know everything."

She grins. "And I thought you were the perfect man."

There is a moment while we watch the elevator ascend. There are panels along the sides that have lights that periodically move from the top to the bottom of the elevator car (cinematic indications that the elevator is rising).

Then Adam smiles, "I am."

Jane shakes her head, "Just because you're the only man, maybe."

But Adam doesn't find that remark very funny. He simply stands and looks at Jane, expression closed. A few moments pass in uncomfortable silence.

Then Jane speaks, changing the subject: "It hasn't quite sunk in, yet, for me."

"What? The part where we've been 'transported' over three hundred years in the future, and now find ourselves alone with no earthly idea what's happened or what's going on? Or the part where we realize that if the computer is correct, then everyone we ever knew, all our friends and family, are all long dead and now we're all alone, together? Just us, for the rest of our lives?"

She simply looks at him, blank expression on her face, not saying anything.

But Adam presses her. "Look Jane, I'm sorry. But Brian is dead. Your father is dead."

She reacts loudly, "You don't know that! The computer--"

"--Right. The computer could be wrong. But I really don't think it is." He shakes his head. "It was never off-line. Its clock is very, very accurate. You know that. It has to be to control the stupid equipment. The reactor was designed to be self-contained and self-operating." He pauses. "It was designed to operate for at least a thousand years without anyone ever having to touch it." Jane simply looks at him as if she doesn't comprehend what he's saying. Adam continues, "Do you know why the facility has such a power plant? Do you know why it has such a computer? Do you know why they dug almost a mile down into the rock and earth to build this thing in the first place?"

"They wanted it kept secret. They wanted it to be away from people, where accidents couldn't harm anyone."

"All that. Yes."

She goes on, though, "They knew they were messing with things. Dangerous things. Dangerous forces with potentially dangerous consequences."

"And don't you think that what we're experiencing right now could be part of those consequences?"

She considers it. "Anything is possible."

He agrees, "Damn right. Your father knew all this. He kept it to himself, mostly, but he shared with me the real reason why we were all buried a mile in the ground with a goddamn forever reactor and the world's most powerful computer."

Jane is very, very curious, but angry. "And what is the reason?"

"Jane, he was experimenting with time travel. We were engaged in a time travel experiment"

She doesn't agree. "Bull. We didn't travel in time."

"All evidence to the contrary. We did. Something like three hundred and seventeen years." He points at Jane. "You said yourself it didn't feel like we'd laid on that catwalk grating for three hundred years. We didn't."

"Double bull! What about all the dust and stuff on everything?"

"That. Right. I have no idea. Could be the whole facility somehow got locked into another dimension, or something. I have no explanation for why the facility and the computer seem to have made the trip the 'old fashioned way'--one day at a time--while we seem to have made the trip in a few moments." Adam shrugs. "No explanation at all. But here we are."

Jane mutters 'bull' in response, but all conviction has drained from her. Then there is another rather long, awkward silence as she thinks about what Adam has said. Meanwhile, the lights are still moving, top to bottom, showing that the elevator is still rising.

Presently, however, there is a buzz, an alarm, and the lights begin to slow, and rapidly. "Uh-oh. Trouble ahead," says Adam. "There's something wrong in the elevator shaft."

"What?" Jane is alarmed. "Where are we? How close are we to the surface?"

Adam looks at the elevator's control panel, which he has just opened. "It says we're about twelve hundred meters up. Three hundred meters from the surface."

"That's a long way to go. Can we keep going?"

"Until the tracks stop, probably."

They both stand and watch the lights, still falling, but much more slowly than before. The elevator is continuing to move upward, but very slowly. Almost cautiously.

Jane asks, "How will we know if the shaft is blocked, or if the tracks are broken?"

"When the elevator stops."

"We won't crash, or anything?"

All Adam says is, "I hope not."

Continued in part 6

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 4

Click here for part 3

We have a silent cut scene of the two of them walking quickly down corridors and looking in various rooms. They find no one else in the facility, and no sign that there has been anyone around for a very long time. There is dust on all the horizontal surfaces everywhere they go. Very obviously undisturbed.

Finally, we watch as Jane goes to check her father's office. Adam is right behind her, and keeps a respectable distance. Jane was close to her father. Jane notices that everything looks exactly as it was when she was last in his office. There is even a coffee cup on the desk, emblazoned with 'World's Best Dad', a cup Jane had given to her father. The coffee it once contained is long dried up to a hard brown stain in the bottom of the cup. Jane picks it up in remembrance. There's dust on top the dried coffee. She puts the cup down and we notice the "hole" in the dust of the desk surface where the cup used to sit.

"There hasn't been anyone here in a very long time," she says to no one in particular, wiping her dusty fingers on her lab coat.

"No, it's pretty much this way everywhere."

"What could have happened?" Jane turns to Adam, her face really worried, now.

"I have no idea." Adam turns, "We need to check the computer."

"I know, but I wanted to see for myself."

"Jane," says Adam, gently, "there's no one here. There hasn't been anyone here for over three hundred years."

Click for moreHe sees tears creep into the corners of her eyes, but only momentarily. She wipes them away with a great show of irritation. "I'm sorry," he says.

Jane clears her throat, acknowledging Adam but not commenting on her realization that her father must really be dead. "But, I don't understand. Why are we here?"

"That's a damn good question." Adam goes to the open doorway. "Come on, let's find out."

In a few moments Adam and Jane are in another part of the facility, the 'computer room'. This room is lined with various 1970's styles of computer peripherals, printers, cardpunches, etc. There are three terminals in this room, and Adam is parked in front of a terminal very similar to the terminal in the control room. Jane is sitting behind him, looking over his shoulder while he types on the clunky, clacky keyboard. He types: 'STATUS' The computer prints:

STATUS
POWER INTERRUPTION. DURATION 317 YR 5 MTH 12 DY 21 HRS 17 MIN 32.776 SEC.
CURRENT DATE. 05 APR 2297 07:32:05.
** READY _

Then he types: 'STATUS LEVELS'

ERR5002: UNKNOWN COMMAND: 'LEVELS'
** READY _

"What's the command for help?" Adam asks her.

Jane offers, "I think it's 'HELP'."

"That'd be too simple."

"Hey. It's your computer."

"It was Brian's computer."

Ignoring Adam's remark about Brian, whereabouts unknown but presumed dead, Jane orders: "Just type 'HELP', OK?"

Adam types: 'HELP'

HELP. HELP SUBJECTS ARE:
COMMAND
LEVEL
SHUTDOWN
STARTUP
STATIONS
STATUS
...
** READY _

"Ah, I wanted 'LEVEL', not 'LEVELS'." Adam types: 'HELP LEVEL'

HELP LEVEL.
The LEVEL command reports power levels in the reactor. ...
** READY _

Adam types: 'LEVEL'

LEVEL. POWER LEVEL 95.227%. NOMINAL. ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE.
** READY _

"Type 'STATUS'," says Jane, poking Adam in the shoulder with a finger.

"All right." Adam types: 'STATUS'

STATUS.
COMMAND. COMMAND MODE ENABLED.
LEVEL. POWER LEVEL 95.227%.
LAST START. 17 JUN 1976 17:47:05.
POWER INTERRUPTION. 23 OCT 1979 09:37:12.
POWER RESUMED. 05 APR 2297 06:54:45.
CURRENT DATE. 05 APR 2297 07:32:21.
SENSORS.
MAIN LEVEL. OK.
CHAMBER. OK.
ELEVATOR 1. OK.
ELEVATOR 2. OK.
ELEVATOR 3. OK.
ELEVATOR 4. ERR3140: OFF LINE. SENSOR NOT RESPONDING.
SURFACE. ERR3140: OFF LINE. SENSOR NOT RESPONDING.
** READY _

"Wow," says Adam.

Jane shakes her head, "I still don't believe we could have been lying there all that time. Three hundred years?"

Adam corrects her, "Three hundred seventeen years, to be exact." He looks at her, quizzically, "Why not?"

"Well," she says, parroting him sarcastically, "Three hundred and seventeen years, to be exact is a really, really long time, that's why."

"But you see what it says, right?"

"I see, but I still don't believe."

Adam asks, changing the subject, "Did you happen to find any food in all your running around and checking things?"

"Why?" she asks. "Are you hungry?"

"I already said I was." He pauses. "But it's not only that."

"What is it, then?"

"If we don't find any food, then we won't be able to stay down here very long." He pushes away from the computer terminal. Stands. "We may have water, but without food we won't survive here underground. Not for very long."

"Oh."

"You get what I'm saying, right?"

"I do. If we don't have food, then we will have to go topside." She stands, too. "And if it's really been over three hundred years and no one's been down here in all that time--"

"--Then there's no guarantee what we'll find when we get up there." He points skyward.

"If we can get up there, you mean."

"Damn right. This could be a really unpleasant time, for us." He turns and walks away. Jane follows, reluctantly. Adam continues, "We might end up wishing we had died from radiation poisoning. It'd be much quicker, that way."

But Jane is ahead of him. She passes Adam at the doorway, and heads off into the corridor. "I'm going to look for food." She pauses, "You see if we can get up in the elevator. We're going to need it, I think."

"It's either that or the emergency stairs."

From a distance, as she is walking off down the corridor, she says, sounding like Adam, "Right. Meet you back here in an hour. OK?" But she doesn't wait for his reply.

Continued in part 5

A Far Sun: Forsooth and Alas

In reviewing my first couple posts I realized I left out the important opening scene between Adam and Jane. I did manage to set up the situation, but in my zeal to get past this part (I had written the opening scene back in October, but not much else) I completely left it out.

So therefore, I present it here. I have also updated the first post, but you don't have to go back to it to catch up with things. Here is the missing scene, from the beginning.

Click for moreOur world, 1979. Nuclear tensions are mounting worldwide. Story begins in a laboratory located in secret fifteen-hundred meters below the quad of a large Midwestern university. A high speed elevator whisks researchers down to the self-contained laboratory from the basement of the physics building. The facility is powered via nuclear power plant and also houses one of the most powerful computers on the planet. Of course, everything is top secret.

Adam and Jane are two post-doctorate researchers working in the facility for Dr. Hamden Marsden (Jane's father). They are good friends, almost best friends who have worked together for a couple of years, from the time Jane joined her father's project. Adam's best friend Brian, who originally brought Adam onto the project, is Jane's fiancé, though this detail only of minor relevance to the plot.

The project involves a kind of "suspended animation" achieved via interactions between subatomic particles while in the presence of certain strong fields. (This is obviously "rubber science" strictly for the purposes of setting up the story.) So far, all trials have succeeded, but they have not tested the "SA" chamber at full power. The full-power test is scheduled for the next day.

We open on Adam and Jane, walking briskly down the center of the university's "quad" (large oval central park crisscrossed by concrete paths leading to and from various campus buildings). It is mid-afternoon in late October, and the weather has turned cool and windy, with leaves blowing about as they walk. Adam and Jane are arguing about the upcoming experiment. As they pass a small group of students, we overhear the radio they are all huddled around: 'The President, in an emergency news conference just an hour ago, said that the Soviet Premier has issued an ultimatum ...' We do not hear the rest, as Adam speaks:

"I'm worried about the situation in Europe."

Jane turns to Adam, but doesn't slow her walking, "I'm worried they're going to cancel the experiment."

"Yeah," says Adam, barking a humorless laugh, "war will do that."

"That's not funny, Adam," says Jane, scowling.

"And I didn't mean it to be," he replies. We then follow them from behind as they quickly reach the end of the quad. They turn and walk up the steps to a large, gray limestone building, and we see the name: 'Wilbur Physics Laboratory' as they pass through the glass front doors.

Their pace doesn't slow as we follow them down a corridor to their right. About midway they come to a heavy steel door, where they stop. So far, there haven't been any words exchanged since the quad. There is a ten-key keypad next to the door.

Jane hesitates. "What's the damn code?" She swears to herself. "I can never quite remember it."

"Dyslexics untie," says Adam, making a joke, and he taps in the correct six-digit code. Jane merely scowls, but she watches the numbers as he types.

There is a loud clunk, and the heavy steel door opens a crack. Jane hauls on the door to pull it open, and without further commentary, goes in. Adam follows, and they march right up to a small foyer-looking area. A set of wide elevator doors are in front of them. We hear the door seal closed behind them with a hollow clanking sound. It sounds very permanent.

"Well," Adam says, "are you gonna press the button, or should I?"

"Just press the damn button, all right?" Jane sounds clearly irritated.

Adam complies, doesn't quite understand why Jane should be upset. "What's wrong, Janie dear?"

"Nothing," she says. "And don't call me that."

"What? Janie, or dear?"

"Either one, thank you." The elevator doors slide open to reveal the comparatively cavernous size of the elevator. "Just be glad I don't make you call me Ms. Marsden, like I do the others."

Adam laughs, "They only call you that because they're afraid of you."

"Hah. Did you ever think there might be a good reason?"

Adam grins. "You're really quite harmless, despite the teeth."

Jane rolls her eyes, "Very funny."

Both enter the elevator. The elevator doors whisk closed and the elevator starts down. Lights on the elevator side walls whip from floor to ceiling, indicating the elevator is rapidly descending. The number of lights and their increasing speed indicate the elevator is going down a very long way, and accelerating. Neither seems to notice the elevator's speed nor the fact they become momentarily weightless--in free fall.

"Did my father tell you we're changing the protocol?" says Jane, smugly, turning toward Adam who stands a respectable distance away.

"Yes," replies Adam. "It was me who originally suggested it."

"He didn't tell me that," she says.

"Do you know why we're changing it?"

"I would assume it's because of things with the Soviets."

"Exactly. We don't want to be stuck in the middle of a three-week cycle, with all the costs involved, if things are uncertain."

"So that's why we're going to a twelve-hour cycle."

"Right," says Adam.

"OK," says Jane, and she turns to watch the lights streaming upward. We get the sense that she, once again, has been caught not quite being completely 'in the know'. She doesn't like it.

Day of the trial ...

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 3

OK, now we're beginning to realize that something very wrong has happened. What is it?

Click here for part 2

Jane comes up to the control room to see what Adam is talking about. She sees the power interruption message on the screen, but she is certain it must be wrong. Adam likewise doesn't want to believe it could possibly be correct, since neither he nor Jane seem to be feeling any negative or ill effects. As far as either of them know, they just blacked out for a short while, then came to. There's no way they could have been unconscious for over 317 years!

Adam asks about the animals, but Jane hasn't yet taken them out of the chamber. He asks if they're all right, and Jane replies that as far as she can tell, they are fine. Adam suggests that they should shut down the equipment and secure the chamber so they can check further into their apparent situation. Jane agrees, and she leaves the control room to go back down to the chamber. It's only a few moments, then, before Adam hears a surprised, anguished yell. He rushes down to where Jane is frantically trying to climb up into the SA chamber.

Click for more"What's going on?" he asks.

"They're dead!" Jane is crouching in the circular chamber doorway, undoing the dog's collar where it was held in place in the chamber. "They're both dead!"

Adam strains to see up into the chamber, where he sees that it does appear that both animals are laying, limply, on the platform where they were previously sitting. "How is this possible?" he asks.

"I have no idea," Jane replies. "Here, help me with the dog." She finishes undoing the collar and picks the dead animal up, turns and hands it down to Adam.

Adam takes the dog's body and lays it on the catwalk grate behind him. It doesn't look quite right. Hair is falling out in clumps.

"Bonnie is a lot heavier," Jane says, grunting as she tries to manoeuver the body of the bonobo through the tight circular door opening.

Adam takes the body of the small chimpanzee and lays it next to the dog. It is also losing hair and bleeding around the mouth, nose, and eyes.

Jane climbs down from the chamber doorway to kneel next to the dead bonobo, Bonnie. "What could have killed them?"

"Can't say for sure, but they both look like they have radiation burns."

"There isn't supposed to be any radiation in the chamber." She looks up at Adam, worry creasing her face.

Adam shrugs, "I know."

"They were fine just a few minutes ago--noisy and hungry, maybe--but fine." She shakes her head. "I swear, Adam. They were perfectly OK just five minutes ago." She stands. They are now both standing and looking down at the dead bodies of the two animals.

"I believe you. I heard them making noise, too." Adam puts his arm around Jane's shoulders.

Jane just looks at Adam, a combination of confusion, worry, and a not a small bit of fear plainly evident on her face. "What's going on, here?"

Adam asks, "Do you feel OK?"

"I feel fine. You?"

"I'm hungry," he replies.

She pushes away. "That's not what I mean."

"I know what you mean." Adam rubs his chin, absently. "If we really were 'asleep' three hundred and seventeen years, like it says, then these two," he points to the animals, "could have just as likely died from natural causes."

"They would have died years ago, if that was the case."

"So should we." Adam looks Jane over, carefully. "That's odd. You don't look a day older."

Jane is perturbed, "This is not funny, Adam."

"I'm not being funny, Jane," says Adam.

"So, what do we do?" she asks.

"Put them back in their cages, I guess. Lock down the chamber, and shut down all this equipment."

She nods absently, considering. "Then what?"

"Then," he says, "We go figure out what's really happened to the computer."

Continued in part 4

A Far Sun: Synopsis/Treatment, part 2

This series of posts constitute more than a simple synopsis. They're more like a treatment. Parts will be at varying levels of detail--I need enough to convey what's happening and where the story is going. Of necessity there will be spoilers, so if you are one of those who can wait until Christmas Day for your presents, please don't read ahead.

Go here for part 1

From the end of part 1:

"And that caused us to black out?"

He shrugs, "Apparently. I need to look at the logs to be sure."

"Weird," is all Jane says.

Curious, they both go to check conditions inside the SA chamber. Both subjects, one a dog and the other a bonobo, are both apparently alive and once they see Adam and Jane, begin to make excited noises. Jane, in particular, is their keeper.

"Let them out," Jane orders.

"OK," Adam agrees, "but we need to get the power on, first."

---

Jane looks around. "Oh, right." She starts to ask 'how do we do that?' then remembers that she knows how. Following protocol, Jane moves to the nearest intercom station and keys the 'To Control Room' button. "Control room?" She waits. "Control Room? Are you there?" Jane looks up toward the thick glass windows between the control room and the chamber room.

Adam is at her shoulder, looking between Jane and the control room windows.

"No one's answering," she says.

"I know. I already tried it."

"I guess we'll have to get the power on ourselves," Jane says.

Click for more"Right. Watch the animals," says Adam, and he heads toward the metal stairs leading up to the chamber room door. It's about two stories up, near the top of the large (20 meters diameter) room.

"See if you can get the lights on, too," Jane calls up to Adam as he reaches the top of the stairs.

"Right," he calls down, not looking. "Power equals lights." But the heavy steel door to the chamber won't open. It's operated by electricity. After pressing the 'OPEN' button and trying the door handle a few times unsuccessfully, Adam turns and calls down to Jane, "The door won't open."

"Isn't there a manual door release? I can't believe we would be trapped in here if the power failed."

"Hah," says Adam, perplexed and frustrated, "You can not believe it all you want. The damn door won't open."

"Criminy," says Jane, characteristically, and she starts toward the stairs. Adam only watches while she climbs up to stand next to him.

"Have at it," Adam says. "Trust me, it won't open."

Jane reaches forward to press the 'OPEN' button, but before she can press it there is a vibration and a hum, and all the lights suddenly come on. Smirking to Adam, Jane then presses the 'OPEN' button in triumph, and the door swings open. "I guess it just needed a woman's touch."

"Right, sure," Adam says, and walks through the open doorway.

"You check the control room," Jane calls to Adam, "I'll check on the animals."

"Right. Already there."

The chamber door opens onto a corridor, and Adam enters the control room through another door off the corridor. The control room is about 4 meters deep by 8 meters wide, and has thick glass windows that look out into the chamber room. A long console of control equipment lines the wall below the windows. There are four empty swivel chairs along the console. Adam looks around. All the equipment seems to be functional, and turned on, but where before there were people seated at the chairs and another two or three standing and watching, now there is no one.

Adam sits in the first chair. On the console in front of him is a large, thick, heavy keyboard, and above the keyboard is a smallish (50 x 50 centimeters) CRT screen. On the screen are green letters:

** READY _

He types: 'STATUS' and presses ENTER. On the screen appears the following message:

POWER INTERRUPTION. DURATION 317 YR 5 MTH 12 DY 21 HRS 17 MIN 32.776 SEC.
CURRENT DATE. 05 APR 2297 06:57:14.
** READY _

"What the hell?" Adam says to himself. Aloud. He keys the intercom 'To Chamber' button. "Jane. Get up here."

In several seconds Jane replies over the intercom, "What?"

Adam is not looking through the windows down at her. He is riveted on the flickering CRT screen. He keys the button, again. "You need to see this."

"What is it?" she asks.

All Adam says is, "Something's wrong."

Continued in part 3

Starting a new project: "A Far Sun"

For the past couple of months I've been working on a new writing project. It's a graphic novel/web comic, my role being the screenwriter (er, web comic writer). I have been posting some of my preliminary work to Live Journal, but I've decided I could perhaps post some of the content to this blog, as well. I dunno. I'm kind of still looking for the right outlet for this stuff.

The project has been tentatively titled "A Far Sun". It's a little bit of science fiction with some fantasy (of a sort) thrown in. The story seems quite suitable for a web comic, but it would have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Thus, it's a graphic novel.

I wrote a synopsis back in October, but since then I've refined the basic story somewhat. I am not quite to the point of starting the screenplay, though I have been slowly working through the scene list. I have a starting scenario, an inciting event, a middle (the main story), a culminating crisis, and at least two endings. Yes, several things can happen, it's just a matter of what turns out to be the best.

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A Far Sun

Act One

Our world, 1979. Nuclear tensions are mounting worldwide. Story begins in a laboratory located in secret fifteen-hundred meters below the quad of a large Midwestern university. A high speed elevator whisks researchers down to the self-contained laboratory from the basement of the physics building. The facility is powered via nuclear power plant and also houses one of the most powerful computers on the planet. Of course, everything is top secret.

Adam and Jane are two post-doctorate researchers working in the facility for Dr. Hamden Marsden (Jane's father). They are good friends, almost best friends who have worked together for a couple of years, from the time Jane joined her father's project. Adam's best friend Brian, who originally brought Adam onto the project, is Jane's fiance, though this detail only of minor relevance to the plot.

The project involves a kind of "suspended animation" achieved via interactions between subatomic particles while in the presence of certain strong fields. (This is obviously "rubber science" strictly for the purposes of setting up the story.) So far, all trials have succeeded, but they have not tested the "SA" chamber at full power. The full-power test is scheduled for the next day.
Our world, 1979. Nuclear tensions are mounting worldwide. Story begins in a laboratory located in secret fifteen-hundred meters below the quad of a large Midwestern university. A high speed elevator whisks researchers down to the self-contained laboratory from the basement of the physics building. The facility is powered via nuclear power plant and also houses one of the most powerful computers on the planet. Of course, everything is top secret.

We open on Adam and Jane, walking briskly down the center of the university's "quad" (large oval central park crisscrossed by concrete paths leading to and from various campus buildings). It is mid-afternoon in late October, and the weather has turned cool and windy, with leaves blowing about as they walk. Adam and Jane are arguing about the upcoming experiment. As they pass a small group of students, we overhear the radio they are all huddled around: 'The President, in an emergency news conference just an hour ago, said that the Soviet Premier has issued an ultimatum ...' We do not hear the rest, as Adam speaks:

"I'm worried about the situation in Europe."

Jane turns to Adam, but doesn't slow her walking, "I'm worried they're going to cancel the experiment."

"Yeah," says Adam, barking a humorless laugh, "war will do that."

"That's not funny, Adam," says Jane, scowling.

"And I didn't mean it to be," he replies. We then follow them from behind as they quickly reach the end of the quad. They turn and walk up the steps to a large, gray limestone building, and we see the name: 'Wilbur Physics Laboratory' as they pass through the glass front doors.

Their pace doesn't slow as we follow them down a corridor to their right. About midway they come to a heavy steel door, where they stop. So far, there haven't been any words exchanged since the quad. There is a ten-key keypad next to the door.

Jane hesitates. "What's the damn code?" She swears to herself. "I can never quite remember it."

"Dyslexics untie," says Adam, making a joke, and he taps in the correct six-digit code. Jane merely scowls, but she watches the numbers as he types.

There is a loud clunk, and the heavy steel door opens a crack. Jane hauls on the door to pull it open, and without further commentary, goes in. Adam follows, and they march right up to a small foyer-looking area. A set of wide elevator doors are in front of them. We hear the door seal closed behind them with a hollow clanking sound. It sounds very permanent.

"Well," Adam says, "are you gonna press the button, or should I?"

"Just press the damn button, all right?" Jane sounds clearly irritated.

Adam complies, doesn't quite understand why Jane should be upset. "What's wrong, Janie dear?"

"Nothing," she says. "And don't call me that."

"What? Janie, or dear?"

"Either one, thank you." The elevator doors slide open to reveal the comparatively cavernous size of the elevator. "Just be glad I don't make you call me Ms. Marsden, like I do the others."

Adam laughs, "They only call you that because they're afraid of you."

"Hah. Did you ever think there might be a good reason?"

Adam grins. "You're really quite harmless, despite the teeth."

Jane rolls her eyes, "Very funny."

Both enter the elevator. The elevator doors whisk closed and the elevator starts down. Lights on the elevator side walls whip from floor to ceiling, indicating the elevator is rapidly descending. The number of lights and their increasing speed indicate the elevator is going down a very long way, and accelerating. Neither seems to notice the elevator's speed nor the fact they become momentarily weightless--in free fall.

"Did my father tell you we're changing the protocol?" says Jane, smugly, turning toward Adam who stands a respectable distance away.

"Yes," replies Adam. "It was me who originally suggested it."

"He didn't tell me that," she says.

"Do you know why we're changing it?"

"I would assume it's because of things with the Soviets."

"Exactly. We don't want to be stuck in the middle of a three-week cycle, with all the costs involved, if things are uncertain."

"So that's why we're going to a twelve-hour cycle."

"Right," says Adam.

"OK," says Jane, and she turns to watch the lights streaming upward. We get the sense that she, once again, has been caught not quite being completely 'in the know'. She doesn't like it.

**

Day of the trial, everything starts out as expected. The power levels are steady, the field is contained, and the test subjects (some small animals) seem OK. Adam and Jane are working on the catwalk that surrounds the spherical SA chamber (inside the spherical chamber room), while Dr. Marsden, Brian, and others are monitoring the test from the control room (attached to the chamber room).

Suddenly there is a strong "thump" that shakes the entire facility. Being well underground, such outside influences are ... unexpected ... so Adam immediately launches for the kill switch, which is about 5 meters away. Before he can get there, though, there is another thump, even stronger, that knocks both Adam and Jane to their knees, then there is a momentary bright flash and a loud hum, and then the lights go out.

Adam awakes, sometime later. He wasn't even aware that he'd blacked out, but since he just woke up, he must have. He remembers the thumps and the bright flash, but vaguely, indistinctly. It's as if they happened a very long time ago. He also remembers the lights going out, but since he evidently blacked out, did that really happen or did he just black out? Regardless, the lights are not out, now.

Emergency lighting is on, casting the spherical chamber room in an eerie, reddish light. Jane is lying on the catwalk a few feet from Adam, and appears to be out cold. With a chill, Adam realizes she could even be dead. Adam quickly goes to her and checks her for a pulse. Slow and a little weak, but present. He shakes her to revive her. No luck.

Adam looks up to the control room, but though the lighting isn't very good, there doesn't seem to be anyone there. He turns back toward the nearest intercom station and calls the control room. After several attempts, still no answer. It's about this time he notices a change in Jane's condition. She has awakened, and is trying to stand up.

"What happened?" she says, weakly. She stands, but is quite wobbly.

"Don't know," Adam replies. "We must have blacked out for a while, there."

"Huh?" she says, "Why?"

"I just woke up a little while ago, and found you out cold on the floor."

"Yeah, I know," she nods, "Why?"

"Beats me." He looks around. "Maybe a power surge, or something."

"And that caused us to black out?"

"Apparently."

They both go to check conditions inside the SA chamber. Both subjects, one a dog and the other a bonobo, are both apparently alive and once they see Adam and Jane, begin to make excited noises. Jane, in particular, has been their keeper.

"Let them out," Jane orders.

"OK," Adam agrees, "but we need to get the power on, first."

"Oh, right."

Continued in part 2